Holding On

As most of you know we have two little boys, man these boys amaze me. How can they be growing so quickly? They change in some way every day. Some days are fun, spent getting dirty, exploring, riding bicycles, learning just being kids. Other days are not so fun, they are the every day the mundane the life in the middle on the way to the mountain tops or valleys. Regardless each day is a gift, each day is a day we will never see again and it’s a new chance to be their mom. Those days are often the hardest but there always seems to be a greater purpose at the end.

These two sweet boys are now 4 and 2, they are outgoing, adventurous, strong, bold, fearless, hungry, dirty, all out. So when one of them has a toy that is “theirs” for that day if they see the other has it…let’s just say you better watch out…Well this morning our youngest got a hold of big brothers car, he hadn’t seen it in months but we found it a few days ago in the couch so now it belongs to HIM!! For the first little bit big brother didn’t notice (SCORE: little brother winJ) then big brother noticed…oh man. You can just imagine the fit that followed that realization. That fit lead to hyperventilating, loud crying, the crying you can’t really get away from that only gets worse as they grow, throwing pretty much anything in the near vicinity, running, chasing trying to get THAT car back. Life as we know it cannot move forward until THAT car is back in his hands. So like any good parent, I tried to just move forward, finish getting ready, working around the fit and just more or less letting it take its course. I mean how long can this really go on…it is just a car?! Little did I know, it could last a while, it lasted through changing clothes, loading them into the car, and about half way there calm fell over the car…UNTIL little brother started playing with the car again. Cue screaming, hysterical 4 year old.  Driving through that is not easy…so I tried appealing to our youngest. I turned back and (quickly) asked, “Please, share that car with your big brother.” He did it. He shared!!!! Sigh of relief…didn’t see it coming but I’m thankful he was just as annoyed with the fit as I was. Then it hit me…it’s all about letting go.

At some point in life there are times when we need to hold on to things tightly, other times we need to just let go. The longer he held on to the car the longer the fit would go on. You see some things are meant to be held on to and it will end well, some things aren’t. The longer we hold on the deeper the hurt, the deeper the wound, the deeper we get in. You see it seems harmless, after all it’s just a car and he will eventually move on right?! True, but is that car worth that friendship, relationship? My guess is no, typically it’s not.

Deep down I think our little boy was just worn down but I also think he knew that his brother wanted that car more than he did. Don’t we all want to meet the needs of those we love? We want to help them out and speak to those deepest desires that say we love you and we would give up THAT toy for you, you are worth more than any one thing.

Choosing the greater good, letting go, moving forward, that’s where we find love, unity, and others who are there beside us. You see we are bound together and more often than not we hold on to things that come between us. I don’t think we always see it like that though. I’m pretty sure we see the thing we are holding on to of upmost importance, we don’t see the cost of that, so we don’t see the value of letting it go. Standing on one side of holding on, I see the value of letting go. Trust me it’s worth it. Not only is the peace and quiet worth it, the company, the companionship, love, unity, joy.

Yes it is always worth letting go, especially in the right time, yes it is very hard to know when to hold on and when to let go. Lots of prayer, support and love, will get you through it and you will see how wonderful and freeing it is to let go. I know it feels like you need to hold on, what price are you paying to hold on? Stress? Strained relationships?

On the flip side when the time is right its worth holding on. You see this is a weird balance. Holding on is needed sometimes. Hope is worth holding on to no matter what.

You see those two boys in the backseat; in this tiny seemingly meaningless argument learned something. They learned that it is better to let go some times. They learned that they are supposed to value the other person more than an object. They learned that they are responsible for the decisions they make. They learned that their decision to hold on to something impacts other people (often more than you realize). They learn so much every day especially on those normal days. That’s why those rough, mundane, seemingly long days are worth it, so worth it. I want them to learn now; I love them too much to wait until they will choose something that will cost a lot more than the loss of a toy car and some tears. They deserve that.

What will you choose today? Do you need to hold on a little more even though you’re tired of the battle? Do you need to let go and let healing, love, joy, peace come through? You can’t have one without the other.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.