Monday, July 14, 2014

Embracing Butterflies

If there is one thing I’ve learned from being a parent is that life is full of those moments/choices that make us feel uncomfortable. Watching your little one ride their bicycle for the first time… Seeing them push past fears (and yours)… seeing them achieve… seeing them fall/fail… That moment I feel butterflies in my tummy, and depending on the moment my heart stops, sometimes I forget to breathe.  In the end no matter what I’m so proud of them.


These butterflies aren’t anything new, especially for me; I get them over simple things like making a phone call or going to a party or gathering with a lot of people. These butterflies have just become part of life, most of the time they are frustrating. I wish I could just do these things without having to push past that feeling. That constant nagging that something could go wrong…that I could say something wrong and look stupid. However there is a good side to these butterflies, I get butterflies when I’m reuniting with friends after a long time apart, when I’m picking my hubby up from the airport.


These butterflies…oh these butterflies…I’m learning daily how to embrace them. These butterflies often precede something incredible happening, sometimes they are my internal warning system. They are my daily reminder that I have the Holy Spirit. That gentle nudging, to let go, move forward, act, encourage, speak, go, listen. I’ve learned a lot through my life that these butterflies are worth listening to, and more importantly worth embracing. Although I’m not great at embracing them as I feel I should be. I’m afraid of where they will take me.  What boundaries that I have put in place will be pushed?  Is it worth pushing through it? How can I ignore this? Won’t this feeling pass?


Well let me share my most recent experiences with my butterflies…


The first started with an outing with our Sunday school class…our class is awesome. Each month we plan a service Sunday where we as a class and sometimes we are able to even take our families along. Well this last month we chose to serve some people in our community lunch. (A few things about me 1. I love food and I love cooking for others 2. As you probably could assume from above I’m not a confident conversationalist) So I’m all about the food part and serving the second half…ummm not so much…so despite my greatest efforts to skip this service Sunday. Things aligned where there was no excuses left (except for me to flat out say I didn’t want to go) my plans to pick up my friend from the airport switched to the day before, the boys were in great moods. We were meant to be there…I wasn’t comfortable…as Sunday progressed my anxiety levels rose…I prayed for peace, a calming….I had a feeling we were called to go so by the end of it I embraced the butterflies packed up some food and we headed to church. We briefed our boys who were as equally excited about participating as their daddy and we headed out. I’m so socially awkward sometimes…but do you know what?? That doesn’t matter. We weren’t called there for me to engage the community we were serving. Sure maybe I made an impact but I was there to support those who are GREAT at communicating. We are all created equally, we are the body of Christ all working together to further the kingdom. Without a single part of the body functioning as it should, the body isn’t efficient; it’s not fulfilling its purpose. I was reminded about 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 What I learned from embracing these butterflies…God isn’t calling me to be someone I’m not created to be he’s calling me to be me to excel there and trust him in that. He knows when I need to be stretched and I know when he’s stretching me…he won’t blind side me with that. I trust him…he’s well worth your trust.


The second was a road trip. Oh man I was anxious about this trip…I wasn’t sure if it was the good or bad anxiety. After weighing all things we came to the conclusion that I was just over thinking it.SOO despite my greatest reservations our two little boys and I packed up the car and headed to Missouri leaving daddy at home. The plan was for us to drive and him to fly up and meet us when he could get off work. I was afraid of all the what if’s…turns out I have a very vivid imagination…not in a good way. However I decided to embrace it…yes it was messy, it was long, it was crazy but we got an extra 3 days and it was so relaxing. I learned to tell my imagination to chill, to embrace the craziness that is road tripping with two boys under 4 alone, and trust that in the end it would be worth it. You know the less I let myself think and dwell about things and the faster I turn them over…the easier it is.


Sure its getting a tiny bit easier to embrace my butterflies but its hard…I don’t like them most of the time and I’m still running away from some butterflies but that’s another story for another day. The butterflies that are telling you…you’re anxious about stopping by a friend’s house are worth embracing, the butterflies that are pushing your comfort zone in good ways are worth embracing. Whatever, your butterflies embrace them. Get used to that feeling in your gut…embrace it, listen to it, pray about it.


Blessings and Love…Until we meet again


1 Corinthians 12:12-31


Unity and Diversity in the Body


12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.


15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.


21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.


27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.


 

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