Good evening friends and fellow Jesus people...I hope this finds you in a good place, one that despite the circumstances you find joy and peace that's my prayer for you today and always. As I sit here to write this blog that was pressed on my heart this afternoon, eating popcorn inspired by one of my best friends, in our quiet(ish) home, my boys (all three of them) are having a "campout" "guys only" night in the kids bedroom, worship music playing and it smells like chocolate cookies. This to me spells joy and peace...so much peace...
I'm writing to let you know its still a struggle daily but I'm still reminded DAILY where I need to rest, where I need to check the anxiety in and let it go. My Jesus, is simply incredible, he draws us near, holds us close and reassures us. Over the last month or so as India draws closer, the anxiety raises, questions flying a million miles an hour through my brain, doubts, wonder, awe, amazement all married together in the beautiful mess that is life. Will the money all come in that we need? Are we doing enough? how in the world am I going to survive with just me and the boys for 10 days....10 days without daddy?? <-- that's the kicker right now....
Here's the thing I'm in such a better place than I have been the anxiety, fear and worry aren't as suffocating as they were. Its still very present, its still a battle...however here is the beautiful part of that...my Jesus knew this season was coming and he arranged things to take my focus off of that and on to the things I love in life...the two big ones music and baking...this friends is where I meet my Jesus where I connect with him. The great thing about that is, is before we ever knew or thought about Daniel going to India, I told my friend I would help her raise money by doing a bake sale, because I love baking and God has really blessed me with that talent. So every week I have time with my friend, my Jesus, my music, baking, praying over each thing we make for each and every person because it brings us one step closer to the end goal.
Today my friend and I got together and were talking about her run this morning, I asked her how her 18 mile training run went. "Amazing" she said. --OK I don't know about you but that sounds crazy right?! I don't really like driving 18 miles let alone running them BUT she's been bitten by the same marathon bug as my hubs so alas I get it-- She was telling me about how because of her group runs she had stopped listening to her music as she ran. She had been really struggling with her long runs and even battling a little cold in the midst of training, which is very typical, she wasn't feeling the same peace, the same "lightness" when she was running as she once had. So this morning she decided to run with her music on and in just one ear. As she was running she was able to hold her head up high, relax her shoulders and just enjoy the run. Oceans (where my feet may fall) by hillsong came on close to the end of her run and she and three of her run buddies were able to connect over that song and over the songs that followed.
Last week after her run, it hit her hard she was struggling, it took her out...this week you would have never guessed she ran 18 miles. I may be assuming too much here but this really touched my spirit as she was telling me because we figured it out...and man its a DUH moment for me...so many times in the bible he calls us to rest in him, to turn over our burdens, to cast away our anxiety and to TRUST him so many times I loose sight of that simple truth and find myself drowning.
Over the last week or so I've been trying to stay ever present in the moment to praise him for the many blessings I have every single day. To thank him, to seek him, and keep him ever present in my thoughts. To turn to him when I'm struggling instead of just staying in my self misery.
So be encouraged friends. Find the thing in your life that you feel draws you the closest to God and just rest and LIVE right there, strive to live there. Oh man, its hard to describe, beautiful chaos, is what comes to mind, because he's transforming Angela's chaos...he's meeting me here where I'm at and drawing me ever closer and growing the areas I need to grow in.
Psalm 91:1-2
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Hebrews 10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
until we meet again...seek him for your hope, peace and joy! Let us rest in him alone!!
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