Ok let me just tell you, when you sit down with friends and you have an epiphany about how you feel like you don't measure up to others facebook update worthy wins, you decide that real life posts are actually where its at. I mean everyone appreciates our vacay pics, potty training, made it through the store without a meltdown, moms weekends away or the ever epic I did this to make a huge difference in our world posts. I enjoy reading those but let me tell you there are some very real life changing days happening down here in the trenches with my littles...however they aren't pretty, and ninety percent of the time not what you would consider facebook worthy. SOOO I had a "brilliant" idea. lets make these real life trench moments facebook worthy, and better yet lets name this #tct #trueconfessionstuesday I set out the challenge and within and hour I had some pretty epic facebook worthy stuff going down in the playroom. Well lets just say I haven't had a short supply of these moments in the last few weeks. Just one of those seasons we go through in parenting. Man oh man today was bigger than facebook worthy it made it all the way to blog-worthy...today started like any other Tuesday, both boys woke up early and were in pretty good moods, so I decided that I would shower before bible study, since we were ahead of schedule I figured this was a fairly "safe" decision. not only was I wrong about this but this day started spiraling and fast. C came in crying because J hit him...you know the drill, so we keep trucking forward everyone keeps getting ready and I'm throwing the boys lunches together when I see something suspicious happening in the playroom...I knew they were up to something but I didn't want to know at all I wanted to just turn and run because its never ever a good sign when they are hiding behind those curtains in the playroom...
Chocolate syrup...so much chocolate syrup
all over the window frame and on the carpet...now we aren't on time at all and things just got complicated. deep breath. don't over react. don't yell. don't yell. breathe. I cleaned it up as best I could temporarily and tried to figure out how to handle their consequence. talked with my mommy friends, and my hubs. Tried to remain positive about how the rest of the day will turn out.
haha it got worse...
to spare you all the details, I had to go buy some more hand soap, and we had to clean up their bedroom...the best words I heard all day were when my hubs got home and told me he would make dinner while I went to run errands to restock everything that was emptied during our boys undoing today....
mommy time...quiet...just me, music and my Jesus...peace
You see life happens and you notice it more when you are looking for opportunities to share. Just like you start noticing all the cars that are just like yours once you buy a new one?! So life happens, I wanted to be a better mom this year, to stop yelling, to use other ways to discipline my boys, better ways to be their mom. I've had plenty of opportunities to use the new resources, and even more reasons to delve deeper into them. Lots of reasons to rely on Jesus more everyday. To lean on the holy spirit who knows my boys inmost being and he knows exactly what they need and when. He also knows what this mommy needs. I need those genuine relationships where we can talk about crappy days and lift each other up, encourage one another and stand together and fight for our kiddos.
I'm reminded about the love Jesus has for me and the grace that so abounds in his love for me. He is ever patient with me, when I over react, when I yell and when I make bad choices. I get to offer that same grace and love to my boys. I was reminded today that no matter what these boys do, there is absolutely nothing they can do that can make me love them any less. How much truer is that about Jesus' love for us??
So today even though I felt like I was drowning, I could keep my eyes above the ways, I could fix my eyes on Jesus and lean on the fact that in him there is nothing I cant handle, on my own I crash and burn quite fast.
As I pulled into the drive way Hillsongs' Oceans (Where feet may fail) came on. man that song speaks to my heart.
Peace be with you...I'm praying for you. You got this. If God brings you to it he will bring you through it as long as you keep your eyes on him. Don't forget to look up above the waves, to the one who can plant your feet firmly on top of the water.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs
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