Swimming

I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is trusting they are truly ready and its time to let go and let them. It is in these moments I feel as though my heart just stops, along with breathing, all bodily functions cease, because I’m amazed at my child. This little boy…who was born yesterday right?! Is big enough to do these things, and its soooo hard for this momma to believe, how is it possible?!

Today he went to “big” church with us for the first time in years and he was so excited. He loved it. He was great at it. J is four…four. Four years ago today he was a little over 3 months old and OH MY GOODNESS the sweetest baby, he went to big church with us when he was oh so little and worshipped with us. It was surreal today, in some ways it was just like four years ago  in other ways so different.

Where has time gone?! Somehow by the grace of God he’s turning into such an incredible young man…who will start home school preschool tomorrow. In some ways I want time to just stop so I can just hold him, love him, and breathe in who he is right now. Four so far has had challenges but man he’s so fun and independent.

He loves to color, run, ride his bike (with his helmet of course), playing with friends, food/cooking, his favorite color is green, he loves taking pictures and videos. He’s strong, bold, loving, and sensitive, this boy has a heart for all people, he’s passionate. He still has his favorite orange and blue dump truck from his first birthday that he races with his brother. His favorite thing this summer swimming…be still my heart.

He has always enjoyed playing in the pool but this summer he learned to swim. I’m still not 100% sure how but he decided one day a month or so ago that he wanted to “sink” without his floatie, I figured it would be short lived boy was I wrong. From sinking and bouncing back up…to swimming. He did it on his own. This boy spoils me in so many ways… J can literally do ANYTHING he puts his mind to. My heart still stops a little every time he jumps into the pool and swims oh so effortlessly to the stairs.

Oh how God equips us to love these boys and cheer them on…I don’t know how I would do it without him and my continuous life line of prayer. Whether its safe travels to and from errands, or safety as we swim and try new things, to discernment to know how to mother these gifts. He is my strength on the many stressful, overwhelming days, my comfort.

Motherhood has opened my eyes to unconditional love in ways that are inconceivable, how is it possible to love someone so deeply it hurts, that in an instant you would choose to die for them, I choose them…oh man I’m thankful for them and broken by them. As frustrating and trying as they can be, even when the days are weeks long, and I wonder why I couldn’t wait to have children….I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.Psalm 116:1-2 NIV

Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6