Good evening friends and fellow Jesus people...I hope this finds you in a good place, one that despite the circumstances you find joy and peace that's my prayer for you today and always. As I sit here to write this blog that was pressed on my heart this afternoon, eating popcorn inspired by one of my best friends, in our quiet(ish) home, my boys (all three of them) are having a "campout" "guys only" night in the kids bedroom, worship music playing and it smells like chocolate cookies. This to me spells joy and peace...so much peace...
I'm writing to let you know its still a struggle daily but I'm still reminded DAILY where I need to rest, where I need to check the anxiety in and let it go. My Jesus, is simply incredible, he draws us near, holds us close and reassures us. Over the last month or so as India draws closer, the anxiety raises, questions flying a million miles an hour through my brain, doubts, wonder, awe, amazement all married together in the beautiful mess that is life. Will the money all come in that we need? Are we doing enough? how in the world am I going to survive with just me and the boys for 10 days....10 days without daddy?? <-- that's the kicker right now....
Here's the thing I'm in such a better place than I have been the anxiety, fear and worry aren't as suffocating as they were. Its still very present, its still a battle...however here is the beautiful part of that...my Jesus knew this season was coming and he arranged things to take my focus off of that and on to the things I love in life...the two big ones music and baking...this friends is where I meet my Jesus where I connect with him. The great thing about that is, is before we ever knew or thought about Daniel going to India, I told my friend I would help her raise money by doing a bake sale, because I love baking and God has really blessed me with that talent. So every week I have time with my friend, my Jesus, my music, baking, praying over each thing we make for each and every person because it brings us one step closer to the end goal.
Today my friend and I got together and were talking about her run this morning, I asked her how her 18 mile training run went. "Amazing" she said. --OK I don't know about you but that sounds crazy right?! I don't really like driving 18 miles let alone running them BUT she's been bitten by the same marathon bug as my hubs so alas I get it-- She was telling me about how because of her group runs she had stopped listening to her music as she ran. She had been really struggling with her long runs and even battling a little cold in the midst of training, which is very typical, she wasn't feeling the same peace, the same "lightness" when she was running as she once had. So this morning she decided to run with her music on and in just one ear. As she was running she was able to hold her head up high, relax her shoulders and just enjoy the run. Oceans (where my feet may fall) by hillsong came on close to the end of her run and she and three of her run buddies were able to connect over that song and over the songs that followed.
Last week after her run, it hit her hard she was struggling, it took her out...this week you would have never guessed she ran 18 miles. I may be assuming too much here but this really touched my spirit as she was telling me because we figured it out...and man its a DUH moment for me...so many times in the bible he calls us to rest in him, to turn over our burdens, to cast away our anxiety and to TRUST him so many times I loose sight of that simple truth and find myself drowning.
Over the last week or so I've been trying to stay ever present in the moment to praise him for the many blessings I have every single day. To thank him, to seek him, and keep him ever present in my thoughts. To turn to him when I'm struggling instead of just staying in my self misery.
So be encouraged friends. Find the thing in your life that you feel draws you the closest to God and just rest and LIVE right there, strive to live there. Oh man, its hard to describe, beautiful chaos, is what comes to mind, because he's transforming Angela's chaos...he's meeting me here where I'm at and drawing me ever closer and growing the areas I need to grow in.
Psalm 91:1-2
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Hebrews 10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
until we meet again...seek him for your hope, peace and joy! Let us rest in him alone!!
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Hand Me Down Shoes...
It is so amazing how much I learn from our boys about faith, joy and how we should live life...they find joy in the simple things like running in the rain, new shoes or clothes, playing with friends, just being with those they love and adore.
The things I often take for granted...you see I often look around and instead of gratitude I feel overwhelmed...I often dream of giving away everything and the freedom that would come with that. This week as I was going through the boys things to see what they need for fall/winter (or in texas what we call a slightly cooler version of summer) I noticed that J's shoes were getting REALLY hard to put on...to find out that he outgrew them. That evening we went to a friends house where we were talking about how fast they outgrow things...She told me she had a pair of shoes we could have for him, the shoes are well loved...like most "hand me downs" from little boys...lets be real if there aren't holes did they ever really wear them?! I took them with gratitude thinking these will work for a little bit...as we got around the next morning J saw them. Let me tell you what...he could not contain his excitement about his NEW shoes.
Be still my heart...
Life with this boy has not been easy over the last few months...I mean he's four, and he wants to be independent, right and rule the world...without full understanding what that all entails :) Man the spirit in that boy...he's going to be a world changer...watch out...
But oh my goodness...gratitude and just pure joy...he LOVES these shoes he couldn't be prouder, he just loves wearing them. So much so that we have to take them away when hes not listening :)
As you all know I'm a worrier, I carry burdens I'm not intended too, I worry senselessly and often find out it was all unwarranted. As big of a battle this is with our sweet J...wow I get now why Jesus wanted the little children to come to him. The purity in their prayers, the willingness to turn to God with faith, to sing praises to God when they are uncertain. Witnessing this does this mommas heart good. I often wonder if I'm doing a good job and if this stay at home mom stuff is important...then they surprise me. God hears my hearts cry to just see a glimpse of hope...and I do...today he got some hand me down socks....
He CANNOT wait to wear them :)
Geez friends lets find joy in the hand me downs...in the mundane, the everyday, the things that we so often look down upon...they are still AMAZING gifts and I'm grateful not only for the shoes and socks but for the lesson that J has taught me through it. Praying that we all have a child like faith and joy... until we meet again!
The things I often take for granted...you see I often look around and instead of gratitude I feel overwhelmed...I often dream of giving away everything and the freedom that would come with that. This week as I was going through the boys things to see what they need for fall/winter (or in texas what we call a slightly cooler version of summer) I noticed that J's shoes were getting REALLY hard to put on...to find out that he outgrew them. That evening we went to a friends house where we were talking about how fast they outgrow things...She told me she had a pair of shoes we could have for him, the shoes are well loved...like most "hand me downs" from little boys...lets be real if there aren't holes did they ever really wear them?! I took them with gratitude thinking these will work for a little bit...as we got around the next morning J saw them. Let me tell you what...he could not contain his excitement about his NEW shoes.
Be still my heart...
Life with this boy has not been easy over the last few months...I mean he's four, and he wants to be independent, right and rule the world...without full understanding what that all entails :) Man the spirit in that boy...he's going to be a world changer...watch out...
But oh my goodness...gratitude and just pure joy...he LOVES these shoes he couldn't be prouder, he just loves wearing them. So much so that we have to take them away when hes not listening :)
As you all know I'm a worrier, I carry burdens I'm not intended too, I worry senselessly and often find out it was all unwarranted. As big of a battle this is with our sweet J...wow I get now why Jesus wanted the little children to come to him. The purity in their prayers, the willingness to turn to God with faith, to sing praises to God when they are uncertain. Witnessing this does this mommas heart good. I often wonder if I'm doing a good job and if this stay at home mom stuff is important...then they surprise me. God hears my hearts cry to just see a glimpse of hope...and I do...today he got some hand me down socks....
He CANNOT wait to wear them :)
Geez friends lets find joy in the hand me downs...in the mundane, the everyday, the things that we so often look down upon...they are still AMAZING gifts and I'm grateful not only for the shoes and socks but for the lesson that J has taught me through it. Praying that we all have a child like faith and joy... until we meet again!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
The Enemy Has been Defeated
Hi friends...I set out this morning to write this blog in a good place...its amazing how fast life can throw you curve balls. Attempts at distracting, drawing our attention away from the stuff that is important. Sadly they almost always work they send me reeling often spinning out of control wondering what is going on...only to find that fell for it again. Geez its frustrating and why cant I learn. Its a constant struggle to remind myself to daily put on the full armor of God to seek him first and draw close to him so that the time spent reeling is less. So that I'm not spinning out for long periods of time. we are called to pray without ceasing... I have found that when I start feeling like I'm drowning in the size of my worries, the anxiety that is weighing on my spirit, the negative thoughts that keep playing on repeat in my head.
I drown it all out...I do the things that bring me joy and center me. I turn to those in my life that can tell me the lies aren't true and remind me that I'm letting the enemy have control where he isn't allowed control. I turn to the word and search for those versus that my spirit needs to hear to be reminded to rest in the Holy Spirit and just trust.
In times that require great faith...or even just a little faith. I am quickly reminded of the spiritual battles going on around us, because I'm now engaging in it, I have chosen a side and that scares Satan because once we are called to move forward from waiting he knows his time is limited and he wants us stopped.
In the midst of the battle I'm often blindsided by the attacks, I so often forget to wake up each morning and put on the full armor of God
Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for all the Lords people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Everyday...in the morning when I rise this should be my prayer, my habits so that I am ready because we are engaging in the same battle Paul is talking about here in Ephesians.
You want to know something....a little secret maybe
every time I have sat down to write this I have this almost overwhelming sense of anxiety...it has been easy to be distracted or get stuck the words wouldn't flow...which tells me you need to hear this as much as I do...Friends its such a real battle that we so often forget we are fighting in.
We need to stand strong! We need to stand firm and we need to be prepared!
Pray about everything, if you are in constant communication with God you will know when to react and move forward even if it feels debilitating. Its possible to move forward in fear even when it feels paralyzing because we have something so much stronger than fear on our side!!
Take heart brothers and sisters, stand firm, and pray without ceasing, seek God and embrace his peace that is there, don't let the ploys of the enemy distract us or defeat us any longer.
Philippians 4
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything: tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.
Oh his peace...is so sweet...
We are all in this together. I'm praying for you and your battles. Lets join together and pray for each other as this battle is tough and one that is above our understanding.
Peace be with you until we meet again!!
Deuteronomy 28:7
The Lord will grand that enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
I drown it all out...I do the things that bring me joy and center me. I turn to those in my life that can tell me the lies aren't true and remind me that I'm letting the enemy have control where he isn't allowed control. I turn to the word and search for those versus that my spirit needs to hear to be reminded to rest in the Holy Spirit and just trust.
In times that require great faith...or even just a little faith. I am quickly reminded of the spiritual battles going on around us, because I'm now engaging in it, I have chosen a side and that scares Satan because once we are called to move forward from waiting he knows his time is limited and he wants us stopped.
In the midst of the battle I'm often blindsided by the attacks, I so often forget to wake up each morning and put on the full armor of God
Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for all the Lords people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Everyday...in the morning when I rise this should be my prayer, my habits so that I am ready because we are engaging in the same battle Paul is talking about here in Ephesians.
You want to know something....a little secret maybe
every time I have sat down to write this I have this almost overwhelming sense of anxiety...it has been easy to be distracted or get stuck the words wouldn't flow...which tells me you need to hear this as much as I do...Friends its such a real battle that we so often forget we are fighting in.
We need to stand strong! We need to stand firm and we need to be prepared!
Pray about everything, if you are in constant communication with God you will know when to react and move forward even if it feels debilitating. Its possible to move forward in fear even when it feels paralyzing because we have something so much stronger than fear on our side!!
Take heart brothers and sisters, stand firm, and pray without ceasing, seek God and embrace his peace that is there, don't let the ploys of the enemy distract us or defeat us any longer.
Philippians 4
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything: tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.
Oh his peace...is so sweet...
We are all in this together. I'm praying for you and your battles. Lets join together and pray for each other as this battle is tough and one that is above our understanding.
Peace be with you until we meet again!!
Deuteronomy 28:7
The Lord will grand that enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
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