I recently began a bible study on Gideon...to be honest I had no idea what to expect. Little did I know it was exactly what I needed. You see most of my life I've been just like Gideon, timid, uncertain, afraid, nervous, insecure...and all too often I've let that be my identity. The great thing is that is not my identity...that isn't me.
God has really been working on me about this for a LONG time, looking through the old testament during this bible study, you see the Israelites half way listened to God on numerous occasions. Like them once I feel like its finished...I stop there and don't move forward again until absolutely necessary because the refining process is painful, long and hard. So when I sit down and see the overview of a people group who pretty much lived through generations who went through the same cycle I am. I feel less alone in the struggle, but realize that umm the Israelites never got it. They never fully stepped into the full blessing of God. The land they didn't conquer was outside of their comfort zone, they didn't believe God to lead them to the full blessing. <---- oh my goodness...what am I leaving behind? what am I missing out on? what am I settling for and is it really worth it? why do I settle and how do I move forward fully and trust God through the pain?
The most frustrating thing for me is why am I afraid to trust God who has proved himself to me and so many others so many times? God is more than capable of handling my chaos, my crisis and for some reason in my finite life I think I have a better plan...ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I know I'm not alone and everyday I wake up in my failures and have no problem reminding myself how lame I am. You know what....as long as I have believed these lies they are not truth.
The truth is I'm/We are...
a daughter/son of the Most High King
Forgiven - all forgiven and its all forgotten...God doesn't remember only you do
Loved fully and unconditionally
fearfully and wonderfully made
fully known and loved [despite it all]
priceless
adored
created in his image
...to name a few. When the angel came to Gideon he called him a valiant warrior...[Gideon was hiding] God sees us for who he created us to be and he calls us by who we are. His Truth about us that is what we are, not the other way around.
I don't know the answers to these questions join me on this journey and lets learn this together. :) lets lean on God and watch him work miracles in our lives and let him transform us fully.
In the mean time I'm really looking forward to my Bible Study on Gideon by Priscilla Shirer.
Thanks for joining me on this journey. To God be the Glory. Go in peace, love and blessing. Trust the God who began it all and loves despite it all.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Created in his likeness
This morning as I was spending time with our little C before big brother woke up. I started thinking about how my sweet little C is my hubby's duplicate, not only is he pretty close to a spitting image of him, his mannerisms, just the way he is reminds me of my husband. Anyone who knows my husband knows that he is very persistent and never gives up...one of hubby's most frustrating traits in C is this one: C will scream and fight to against it all to accomplish the goal ahead and the biggest thing he doesn't want is help...can anyone say this is his daddy...and I KNOW this is how his mom felt when he was growing up. To be honest I know the same is true for me and J we are so very alike its crazy, exciting and very frustrating at times. Ahh the joys of child rearing :)
All that to say when people see our children and they know us....they have no doubt that they belong to us. J and C will just show you exactly how much they are like us, even to our detriment some times. I mean I really don't want some of my bad habits out there for everyone to see but when I take them places together everyone knows that mommy has a bad temper sometimes, on some occasions they surprise you and show off and show people that on rare occasions mommy and daddy did something right. I mean don't get me wrong I think most of the time we are doing a good job but somehow parenting seems to bring out your greatest failures, and your biggest doubts about yourself. All that to say these little people that God blessed us with....are little reflections of their parents in everything that entails.
As followers of Jesus...isn't that what I'm supposed to do? reflect to others who God is? Be a light to those who need it? Help those in need? I mean after all we were created in the image of God.
I know that because of the fall and sin we don't always reflect that especially just in our innate being. The great part is as followers of Jesus we have the Holy Spirit to truly help us reflect Jesus to our world.
I know I'm not always a good reflection of him but I do try my best and I know fully that God helps me and he truly is the only reason I can reflect his greatness. This struck me really hard this morning, it really made me think what a challenge to pull me back into the loving arms of my savior than a prayer to be more like him. So that I will reflect him more so than my broken self. I'm always amazed at the great whispers I hear, or the nudges I feel from my sweet heavenly father when I'm just still and soaking up a moment.
Lets strive to depend on God to reflect him to our lost, broken and hurting world. They need his redeeming grace, his unconditional love and unhindered longing for relationship...who am I kidding we all need this daily. God is gracious enough to meet us daily where we are and encourage and mold us into who he is calling us to be.
Thank you for reading my thoughts...until we meet again. May God bless you and keep you, and be whatever you need him to be for you right now.
All that to say when people see our children and they know us....they have no doubt that they belong to us. J and C will just show you exactly how much they are like us, even to our detriment some times. I mean I really don't want some of my bad habits out there for everyone to see but when I take them places together everyone knows that mommy has a bad temper sometimes, on some occasions they surprise you and show off and show people that on rare occasions mommy and daddy did something right. I mean don't get me wrong I think most of the time we are doing a good job but somehow parenting seems to bring out your greatest failures, and your biggest doubts about yourself. All that to say these little people that God blessed us with....are little reflections of their parents in everything that entails.
As followers of Jesus...isn't that what I'm supposed to do? reflect to others who God is? Be a light to those who need it? Help those in need? I mean after all we were created in the image of God.
I know that because of the fall and sin we don't always reflect that especially just in our innate being. The great part is as followers of Jesus we have the Holy Spirit to truly help us reflect Jesus to our world.
I know I'm not always a good reflection of him but I do try my best and I know fully that God helps me and he truly is the only reason I can reflect his greatness. This struck me really hard this morning, it really made me think what a challenge to pull me back into the loving arms of my savior than a prayer to be more like him. So that I will reflect him more so than my broken self. I'm always amazed at the great whispers I hear, or the nudges I feel from my sweet heavenly father when I'm just still and soaking up a moment.
Lets strive to depend on God to reflect him to our lost, broken and hurting world. They need his redeeming grace, his unconditional love and unhindered longing for relationship...who am I kidding we all need this daily. God is gracious enough to meet us daily where we are and encourage and mold us into who he is calling us to be.
Thank you for reading my thoughts...until we meet again. May God bless you and keep you, and be whatever you need him to be for you right now.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Healing and Calling instead of Bitterness
Hi everyone, unless something unheard of happens and I post again tomorrow this will be the last blog of 2013.well so much for plans...Here is my first blog of 2014. 2013 year was so full of blessings, challenges and all that makes a year full, birthdays, friendships, travels, new adventures...and even with all that has happened in this year its hard to believe its already came to a close.
I know for us as we look forward to the new year, we often talk, as most do, about goals and dreams for the new year. Looking for new adventures to plan, organizing to do, teaching, learning, birthdays...but first today as I glanced through facebook this morning a lot of my friends had very uplifting stories on their news feeds.
I've been blessed recently with lots of new friendships, friends that have helped me verbalize the things that I have dealt with in my past, that I just like to let just be. A friend and I have been talking lately about our pasts about how we have grown up and the things we learned or didn't learn about God growing up. Those things that we inadvertently learned from those around us.
As many of you that know me personally know I am a true introvert, I don't really like coming out of my shell until I'm comfortable with the situation or I can wrap my head around it. I've been blessed to be around other people who want to hear my story. I have often wondered why we went through the things we did in our early days of dating and marriage. (to be honest I still don't know however I know one day God will reveal to us the reason.) For now though as I look back on that fateful season of our lives that started about 7 years ago, it feels as though it was yesterday.
During this season of life I learned a lot about me and my relationship with God, in the midst of a very hurtful time for me and my family, I decided to focus the hurt and the uncertainty into searching and looking for answers from God about what my future would look like. This time period taught me a lot about the ways people deal with disappointment, hurt, anger, and letting go. What happened is a very long story and I'm very open to talking about it but I don't think the best thing would be to air it online. There was a huge disagreement between me and someone very close to me about my future. We had two very different opinions on how it would look, and in the end I made the decision that made sense to me. I weighed the options, I looked at the positives and negatives, the hurt, anger the healing all that would stand on the other side of the ultimatum placed ahead of me.
However like most things you cant fully grasp the waves a jump will cause until you make that leap. When we jumped I had an indescribable peace, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was doing was I was supposed to do and I stand by my decision. I have seen healing and calling in my life. I have seen God work in such mighty ways in the past 7 years, that words just don't paint a good enough picture. Our God is incredible, through it all.
......................................There is a flip side.........................................................
on the other side is anger and bitterness, these are the results of not letting go, of dwelling in the past. Living under bitterness is a weight I don't care to even imagine, let alone live under it. I know that it keeps you down, it draws a line in the sand and holds you there. Bitterness, Anger and Hate don't let you move forward they keep you in the midst of it. You surround yourself with only those who agree with you, and you cut off all the others. In the midst of it though your right, and justified. It is toxic to your relationships.
The greatest part of this as sad and bleak as it looks there is always hope. Healing can always come, it is always darkest before the dawn. There is light.
The biggest difference between these two is a choice. That choice lies with you don't live in bitterness, anger and hate. Seek healing, hope and God. Let me tell you bitterness is the easier road, you don't have to deal with the stuff. Healing is worth the pain of dealing with the hurt caused by a situation. A situation that is brought upon by the brokenness of this world. Our pastor in Colorado would always say, "Don't get Bitter, Get Better." and always remember that, "Hurt people hurt people." These words spoke to me so deeply as I was working through the healing process and just moving forward with life.
I have the greatest hope for the future, I know that God has paved a way for me and my family and I've seen him work in such great and powerful ways. I know he has a plan for the steinshouer's and you know what he has a plan for you. Its never to late to leave bitterness behind and get better. God has great plans for each and everyone us. He created us in his own image and the greatest thing is he loves us fully and unconditionally. Did you catch that? I didn't for a while there is nothing that you can do that will make God love you any less!!!
I feel as though I'm rambling before I continue on forever :) because our God's love is that great...let us draw this to a close. We have all been hurt by those we care about the most, in that hurt choose healing. It is always worth it, at the end of bitterness comes healing and calling. Lets move forward and find our callings together.
When we lived in Colorado our pastor would always say don't get bitter get better.
I know for us as we look forward to the new year, we often talk, as most do, about goals and dreams for the new year. Looking for new adventures to plan, organizing to do, teaching, learning, birthdays...but first today as I glanced through facebook this morning a lot of my friends had very uplifting stories on their news feeds.
I've been blessed recently with lots of new friendships, friends that have helped me verbalize the things that I have dealt with in my past, that I just like to let just be. A friend and I have been talking lately about our pasts about how we have grown up and the things we learned or didn't learn about God growing up. Those things that we inadvertently learned from those around us.
As many of you that know me personally know I am a true introvert, I don't really like coming out of my shell until I'm comfortable with the situation or I can wrap my head around it. I've been blessed to be around other people who want to hear my story. I have often wondered why we went through the things we did in our early days of dating and marriage. (to be honest I still don't know however I know one day God will reveal to us the reason.) For now though as I look back on that fateful season of our lives that started about 7 years ago, it feels as though it was yesterday.
During this season of life I learned a lot about me and my relationship with God, in the midst of a very hurtful time for me and my family, I decided to focus the hurt and the uncertainty into searching and looking for answers from God about what my future would look like. This time period taught me a lot about the ways people deal with disappointment, hurt, anger, and letting go. What happened is a very long story and I'm very open to talking about it but I don't think the best thing would be to air it online. There was a huge disagreement between me and someone very close to me about my future. We had two very different opinions on how it would look, and in the end I made the decision that made sense to me. I weighed the options, I looked at the positives and negatives, the hurt, anger the healing all that would stand on the other side of the ultimatum placed ahead of me.
However like most things you cant fully grasp the waves a jump will cause until you make that leap. When we jumped I had an indescribable peace, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was doing was I was supposed to do and I stand by my decision. I have seen healing and calling in my life. I have seen God work in such mighty ways in the past 7 years, that words just don't paint a good enough picture. Our God is incredible, through it all.
......................................There is a flip side.........................................................
on the other side is anger and bitterness, these are the results of not letting go, of dwelling in the past. Living under bitterness is a weight I don't care to even imagine, let alone live under it. I know that it keeps you down, it draws a line in the sand and holds you there. Bitterness, Anger and Hate don't let you move forward they keep you in the midst of it. You surround yourself with only those who agree with you, and you cut off all the others. In the midst of it though your right, and justified. It is toxic to your relationships.
The greatest part of this as sad and bleak as it looks there is always hope. Healing can always come, it is always darkest before the dawn. There is light.
The biggest difference between these two is a choice. That choice lies with you don't live in bitterness, anger and hate. Seek healing, hope and God. Let me tell you bitterness is the easier road, you don't have to deal with the stuff. Healing is worth the pain of dealing with the hurt caused by a situation. A situation that is brought upon by the brokenness of this world. Our pastor in Colorado would always say, "Don't get Bitter, Get Better." and always remember that, "Hurt people hurt people." These words spoke to me so deeply as I was working through the healing process and just moving forward with life.
I have the greatest hope for the future, I know that God has paved a way for me and my family and I've seen him work in such great and powerful ways. I know he has a plan for the steinshouer's and you know what he has a plan for you. Its never to late to leave bitterness behind and get better. God has great plans for each and everyone us. He created us in his own image and the greatest thing is he loves us fully and unconditionally. Did you catch that? I didn't for a while there is nothing that you can do that will make God love you any less!!!
I feel as though I'm rambling before I continue on forever :) because our God's love is that great...let us draw this to a close. We have all been hurt by those we care about the most, in that hurt choose healing. It is always worth it, at the end of bitterness comes healing and calling. Lets move forward and find our callings together.
When we lived in Colorado our pastor would always say don't get bitter get better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)