Psalm 139
1-6
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word was on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7-12
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become right around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mothers womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand
when I awake, I am still with you.
23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts/
see if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Life has been life this past month and a half with more up in the air than I care for although I really am trying to embrace being comfortable, being uncomfortable, its taking time and practice and I'm not wearing it well right now in this season. When the days are long and my fuse is short and there are challenges around every corner.
My biggest challenge is knowing when and how to ask for help. I sulk for a while and before I know it I feel like I'm drowning.
Well I should have known last week God was up to something when one of the awesome leaders from our sunday school class asked me to pick a verse for our Tuesday night meeting...I originally told her no but there were bigger things in store and God knew my answer needed to be yes and I reluctantly agreed. I don't like speaking to groups, I prefer back stage help, serving in the background, I don't need much just appreciation and love and I'm solid. So when I got there last Tuesday I was armed with my favorite prayer in Ephesians 3:14-21 For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever Amen
there were just a handful of ladies there, it was such a sweet time of fellowship with them and it was exactly what I needed, not at all what I had feared. He knew what I needed. I left there with that reassurance tucked away.
Then yesterday in my bible study by beth moore she spoke about how God rearranges our surroundings so that we can see things differently, to help us readjust our vision. He does this for a season, its messy and crazy and feels like chaos. I had never thought about it like that, it made sense. an aha moment.
Well over the last few days I've started to feel that feeling I get every so often, a little depression, a little apathy, a little overwhelmed. When this happens I feel disconnected and I'm not really sure where to turn or what to do. My hubs asks and wants to help. So today I reached out to my friends. I have been praying for my eyes to be open so that when it hits it doesn't send me reeling for days. I love these ladies I'm so thankful for them. Within a few minutes one of them sent the Ecclesiastes verse...AHHHH are you serious???
Hello Angela....he knows you. he knows what you need...he knows where you are and he wants you to readjust.
I'm still here. I'm still praying and I'm still moving forward. because God is bigger than the places I dwell. He knows what I need to rise above.
The great thing...he loves each of us the same. He knows you just as well and he's meeting you right where you are. don't miss that, where you are, wherever that is, you are fully loved. Look around God is in the midst of the trial. He's bigger and there is no place that God does not have dominion. :)
Be encouraged. He's not going to always carry us out but he will always walk with us through it. He lived this life perfectly with all sorts of trials. temptations and the works. I believe he lived with feelings bigger than we can dream about feeling, so he knows lean into him and reach out to those who God has placed in your life to walk with.
You are loved, cherished and right now Jesus is fighting for you! Until we meet again.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Compelled
Compel: to force, drive, necessitate or require, as by force of circumstance or demand. To exert a strong irresistible force on.
Acts 20:22-24
And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.
When I heard this verse this morning, it was that light bulb moment. Life has seemed overwhelming since October last year when the hubs went to India. It still amazes me how quickly and out of the blue God works. I expected him to go, love on some beautiful Indian babies and come home...the end.
However, if you have the honor to know my hubs, you know that, not only did that not happen but quite the opposite happened. He came back with a heart and a compelling whirlwind passion for these beautiful Indian children and those who are loving on them daily. He has been running full force towards this dream. I completely "understood" why and I want nothing more than to run full force beside him, cheering him on, and helping him fulfill this calling.
It has been a crazy journey. Life has been uncomfortable and unpredictable to say the least and like I heard this morning in bible study, I would rather be here with my man running full stride towards this compelling passion that God has placed in his heart because its worth it. Its worth not being comfortable, to see God work in our lives and in our friends lives.
Know that if you feel compelled to do something it is always worth pursuing full force. Know that while you are running, pursuing stuff may come unglued, it may start looking scary but God knows where you are and he knows how to guide you through it.
This is where we are, we aren't surprised but it does catch you off guard sometimes, don't forget to turn to Jesus look to him and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you through it all. Out of all the hurdles, obstacles that have popped up over the last few months, I've seen him orchestrate things. There are a lot of variables still up in the air but God has it all, right where he wants it.
Acts 20:22-24
And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.
When I heard this verse this morning, it was that light bulb moment. Life has seemed overwhelming since October last year when the hubs went to India. It still amazes me how quickly and out of the blue God works. I expected him to go, love on some beautiful Indian babies and come home...the end.
However, if you have the honor to know my hubs, you know that, not only did that not happen but quite the opposite happened. He came back with a heart and a compelling whirlwind passion for these beautiful Indian children and those who are loving on them daily. He has been running full force towards this dream. I completely "understood" why and I want nothing more than to run full force beside him, cheering him on, and helping him fulfill this calling.
It has been a crazy journey. Life has been uncomfortable and unpredictable to say the least and like I heard this morning in bible study, I would rather be here with my man running full stride towards this compelling passion that God has placed in his heart because its worth it. Its worth not being comfortable, to see God work in our lives and in our friends lives.
Know that if you feel compelled to do something it is always worth pursuing full force. Know that while you are running, pursuing stuff may come unglued, it may start looking scary but God knows where you are and he knows how to guide you through it.
This is where we are, we aren't surprised but it does catch you off guard sometimes, don't forget to turn to Jesus look to him and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you through it all. Out of all the hurdles, obstacles that have popped up over the last few months, I've seen him orchestrate things. There are a lot of variables still up in the air but God has it all, right where he wants it.
Monday, February 2, 2015
The Joneses
Saturday we got to celebrate our precious C who is growing up way to fast, for a milestone we certainly weren't expecting to hit for at least another year if he followed the same path as his older brother. Well as was promised...we headed out to chuck e cheese to celebrate his accomplishment. Well I haven't been to chuck e cheese very often over the last several years let alone going on a Saturday.
Lets go back a little bit first. I think I've mentioned that since the hubs has gotten back from India I've felt this need to minimalize the things we have, simplify our life, get rid of the distractions and the things that are pulling us in a million different directions except for where we are supposed to be looking. Its been something God continues to stir in my heart and my spirit. To be more wise with my resources and just see all the abundance right here at my finger tips. Man there is so much here, so many things I have come to just accept as normal, as something I have a right to have. I've felt this shift in my thinking and my heart of hearts that this isn't how I'm called to live. It just feels like all this over abundance needs to find some place else to go. I need to change the way I look at the things I'm acquiring and the things I already have.
So we made changes at Christmas and we are moving towards this new calling and leaning into what we feel like God is calling us to. Trying to do our very best and trust him to do the rest and just to let him help us be who he wants us to be.
..........................................................Back to Saturday
We go online and find some coupons and head for chuck e cheese....there are so many people there for starters but the biggest thing I notice is that most people aren't just there eating pizza and playing games enjoying family time. Most of them are there for birthday parties, the other thing that jumps out at me is all the gifts that are on each of these different birthday party tables. (ok don't get me wrong here please) there is just so much and these families and friends who are celebrating these kids ages probably 5-8ish. You and I both know how long most of these toys will last, about 25% of them will break within the first 24 - 48 hours. the other 75% may last but will all be donated by next year or handed down, and almost all of them will definitely be forgotten by then. Again I have no problem with this it works for some, its just not where we are now and probably wont be again....
We had a friend from India come to Arlington for college...we had a get together to welcome her, where we had under 20 people. she couldn't believe how much food we had just for the small group of us, but its just what we do.
I met another friend this weekend, all she wanted was to be able to find a reliable job, finish getting her CNA and have her kids back with her. She doesn't want a fancy house, 2 cars, white picket fence and enough stuff to fill the house and the garage. She just wants her kids to be with her.
Over abundance is where we expect our life to be, we pray for blessing and we don't even realize how much blessing is right here. The thing is we have so much more than we even realize. Even if the bank account is tight, if you have electricity and a roof over your head and clean water you are better off than most of the world. Let alone the freedom to be able to worship freely, to speak freely and not live in fear. We are free from fear in Jesus, we are also free from fears that millions of our brothers and sisters face in other parts of the world. We don't have to worry about persecution, about dying for our faith, or even being ambushed in worship. We are told every where we turn that we need and deserve so much more than we actually and have. We are pressured to live up to what the Joneses have.
I don't care any more about the Joneses. I pray to Jesus to break me free of that bondage, to help me stay focused on him, to help us as a family not focus on what we can do to acquire more but what we can do to make a difference with what we have. With the blessings I have of waking up in freedom, believing in Jesus in freedom. Jesus please help us see the true blessings that are over flowing right here. Help us see our overabundance and how to share and bless those you long to touch through us. Help us turn away from the temptation to keep up with the Joneses.
Laura Story Blessings...what if?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc
until we meet again. blessings and love to you!
Lets go back a little bit first. I think I've mentioned that since the hubs has gotten back from India I've felt this need to minimalize the things we have, simplify our life, get rid of the distractions and the things that are pulling us in a million different directions except for where we are supposed to be looking. Its been something God continues to stir in my heart and my spirit. To be more wise with my resources and just see all the abundance right here at my finger tips. Man there is so much here, so many things I have come to just accept as normal, as something I have a right to have. I've felt this shift in my thinking and my heart of hearts that this isn't how I'm called to live. It just feels like all this over abundance needs to find some place else to go. I need to change the way I look at the things I'm acquiring and the things I already have.
So we made changes at Christmas and we are moving towards this new calling and leaning into what we feel like God is calling us to. Trying to do our very best and trust him to do the rest and just to let him help us be who he wants us to be.
..........................................................Back to Saturday
We go online and find some coupons and head for chuck e cheese....there are so many people there for starters but the biggest thing I notice is that most people aren't just there eating pizza and playing games enjoying family time. Most of them are there for birthday parties, the other thing that jumps out at me is all the gifts that are on each of these different birthday party tables. (ok don't get me wrong here please) there is just so much and these families and friends who are celebrating these kids ages probably 5-8ish. You and I both know how long most of these toys will last, about 25% of them will break within the first 24 - 48 hours. the other 75% may last but will all be donated by next year or handed down, and almost all of them will definitely be forgotten by then. Again I have no problem with this it works for some, its just not where we are now and probably wont be again....
We had a friend from India come to Arlington for college...we had a get together to welcome her, where we had under 20 people. she couldn't believe how much food we had just for the small group of us, but its just what we do.
I met another friend this weekend, all she wanted was to be able to find a reliable job, finish getting her CNA and have her kids back with her. She doesn't want a fancy house, 2 cars, white picket fence and enough stuff to fill the house and the garage. She just wants her kids to be with her.
Over abundance is where we expect our life to be, we pray for blessing and we don't even realize how much blessing is right here. The thing is we have so much more than we even realize. Even if the bank account is tight, if you have electricity and a roof over your head and clean water you are better off than most of the world. Let alone the freedom to be able to worship freely, to speak freely and not live in fear. We are free from fear in Jesus, we are also free from fears that millions of our brothers and sisters face in other parts of the world. We don't have to worry about persecution, about dying for our faith, or even being ambushed in worship. We are told every where we turn that we need and deserve so much more than we actually and have. We are pressured to live up to what the Joneses have.
I don't care any more about the Joneses. I pray to Jesus to break me free of that bondage, to help me stay focused on him, to help us as a family not focus on what we can do to acquire more but what we can do to make a difference with what we have. With the blessings I have of waking up in freedom, believing in Jesus in freedom. Jesus please help us see the true blessings that are over flowing right here. Help us see our overabundance and how to share and bless those you long to touch through us. Help us turn away from the temptation to keep up with the Joneses.
Laura Story Blessings...what if?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQan9L3yXjc
until we meet again. blessings and love to you!
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