Memories

you know Facebook likes to remind you of the memories from years past on the same day. Today as bible study was starting I jumped on Facebook to check out some notifications, when I noticed a memory reminder from two years ago, when our sweet C was under 2 and LOVED to get into things...the only thing that has changed from that picture is C's size, its amazing how much that sweet, tenacious little man can get into very quickly.

As I clicked below to see more memories from today in years past there was the post I wrote last year about my sweet hubs getting home from India. Words can barely describe how much that trip has impacted our lives and I have a good feeling that, the decision we made to follow that nudging and send him will be interwoven in the rest of our lives. God rocked our worlds and has continued to stretch us and grow us because of this trip. He called us out and into

Can I be brutally honest here and say that I fully expected that trip to be a one time thing, but today one year ago at dinner time God took my comfortable bubble and popped it. He called us to something so much more beautiful and life changing than I would have ever thought of, imagined or dreamed of. In some ways I feel like we have done a lifetime of growing in the last year, and yet I know we have so much to learn and so many places to grow.

Today in Bible study we talked about two churches in Revelation, church of Philadelphia and the church of Laodicea. Its amazing how different the letters are to these two churches. Philadelphia was praised because of their faith, their patient endurance during some very difficult times. Jesus, encouraged them, lifted them up, promised protection during the trial, and reassured them about his coming. Laodicea on the other hand were self sufficient, pitiful, wretched, apathetic, half hearted and blind. Jesus had no praise or affirmation for them, He wanted them to realize that they needed Jesus and that Jesus wanted them to be all in and pursue him. To let him deal with their sin,
repent and fall back in love with him.

I feel like the church at Philadelphia today, I'm tired, I feel like all the things God has on our plate are about to fall off and break into a million pieces. I know they wont but nonetheless when exhaustion sets in on this momma's anxiety tends to wreak havoc. This morning I woke up thinking about this blog that I started yesterday. The struggles of yesterday still very present and when the hubs got to work those troubles seemed to quadruple. It hit me...how fragile everything we have in life is, how fast everything can change, and just how quickly this comfort can leave. As me and C were walking home from taking J to school. It hit me. Why the church of Laodicea lost sight of Jesus. How much easier is it to rely on yourself? Especially when things are going your way. How much opposition do you face when you are going with the stream instead of against it? But how much less rewarding is it? how much impact will you have on others? will you ever make a difference? If things do crumble where do you have hope? Yes, its tempting to rely on yourself, on what you can do. However, I tend to drop the ball, mess things up, I'm not sure that on my best day I could ever be a fraction as successful as the Laodiceans were. Even if I was, I wouldn't want to give up the hope, the love, the peace. Life is crazy, messy, beautiful and rewarding. We have something much bigger than us to live for. Purpose. You can't buy purpose, meaning. I choose that, in all that entails. I know God has some BIG things in store for us and he is working on things.

Whatever life looks like, when all hope seems lost, when those things you were counting on staying the same change. Remember where your constant source is, remember who sustained you before. That foundation is unshakeable and worth building life on. Praying for you where you are, that you can see the hope and the value of pressing in, and abiding in Jesus, the one thing that will never fail and never change, who will love us and guide us everyday. Keep seeking him, keep praying, keep hoping, find others to pray with you. Breakthrough is coming, that answer is coming! You got this because God's got you!

 

Ignorance

Last Friday night we had a great night of fellowship, testimony, cookies, and music. I love hearing other women's stories of how God comes in and shows off, how he places things in our lives to point us towards the things he wants us to pursue. He allows us to go down different paths, he opens and closes doors. Often during that time we are wandering around wondering what God is up to and how he is working and what it is going to look like when he is done.

While its chaos in the midst to us, it is such a beautiful thing. Several years ago when we were living in Colorado we had an organization come to our church that helped young girls who were being sold into slavery. Today in 2015 slavery is alive and well, it doesn't matter your race, age, economic status, it can happen to anyone any where, and right down the road.

I have a friend who works with Rescue Houston, they call these young girls who are being used for what their bodies can offer, they have no hope, they have no reason to hope yet, the goal of this organization is to give them hope. The thing is, this problem isn't just happening in India, Africa, its happening right across town, to people your children or grand children are going to school with. I say this because it was such a Face Palm moment for me. one of those ANGELA you need to wake up and realize you don't just live in Mayberry any more where the worst thing that happens is running into someone's mailbox, or your friends smoking weed in the corn field down the road, or a big party down by the lake where everyone may or may not be drinking.

I got home and told my hubs about this startling statistics, you know the ones that stick with you, unless your a sleep deprived mom, the numbers tend to leave your brain but you know there are sweet young girls out there who desperately need our help. A few days later we were talking with a few other people, these statistics that were very fresh on his brain came out, because it is a truth and a reality we need to share, which had the same affect on them as it did me. Except that one of their reactions wasn't action, it was the desire to shy away, to plead ignorance. I'm sorry but we cannot take a stand on abortion, gay marriage, alcohol, drugs, shootings, and bury our heads in the sand when thousands of young girls, in desperate situations are finding themselves being sold, because they are young girls?!?!

I don't want to know these things happen, but I NEED to know they happen, God calls us to seek and love the lost, the hurting, those who are desperate to find the hope we have in Jesus. I need to know that there are organizations out there seeking to help these young ladies, that I can support. I need to know about it so I can pray for them, so I can listen to that sweet movement of the Holy Spirit to act. If I deny that it exists I'm not only hurting myself and the little people entrusted to me, I'm hurting those that need Jesus the most.

truth + anxiety and the things lost in the midst

its been way too long since I've written and I can blame it on a lot of things like being way to busy in the midst of ever changing seasons, too much stuff going on, writers block, business stuff, family stuff the truth is it's a little bit of all of it. Life feels bigger than it should be right now. We are in this weird season of life where more things seem unknown and uncertain that known and certain. There is a lot of patient, prayerful waiting and a whole lot more impatient waiting. That season where you aren't sure wether you are over or under committed to too many good things and where that ever changing line of enough and too much.

Over the past few months I've sat down several times to write to only get half way through and have no where else to go...the words just aren't there and they aren't right. I mean after all hindsight is 20/20 and we are still in the thick of it...and that's ok...you see I don't have to understand it, to grasp it, to wrap this brain of mine around it, I just need to let it go, to let God and just be held. Let me tell you it's so hard. This year has been dubbed our year of getting comfortable being uncomfortable and just when I think we are about as uncomfortable as we can be something else comes and blows my perspective off center.

Embracing this change and the things that God is laying before us is difficult, rewarding, sweet, uncertain, and oh so worth it. Sometimes in the midst of anxiety I get lost I feel as though I'm suffocating and spinning out of control. There are moments of clarity and today, day two of too much anxiety and way past over the feeling...clarity. These times when the anxiety seems to be at its highest is nearest to the areas that can be strongholds. Family for me is a place where the enemy can send me veering off course for miles on end before I can even grasp where I'm going. God's working on that, but is requiring me to let go of it all. It's requiring me to change my hope, my focus, to turn my eyes off of this gaping wound that is still there despite the efforts of healing, and onto my savior. It's in these moments of clarity that I see that there is always a reason God places things in your life. There are two things that help me worship my savior, baking and music...my songs during this season of life that pour life into my soul? Oceans, Just Be Held, Touch the Sky and Holy Spirit...every one of them...surrender, laying it down, laying it all out there, and dwelling there in the arms of my Father, the Holy Spirit and my Savior.

I don't have a clue what the rest of this season looks like but I know God's got it, just praying our way through it and keeping our eyes on him. The question today in BSF that spoke right into the middle of this struggle was this... What is your attitude when your comfort is compromised? Praying that we endure the seasons God has called us to even when we would rather escape. He has some big things and small things coming together lets press into him in the midst of the discomfort and uncertainty.