He Knows Me

Psalm 139
1-6
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word was on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7-12
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become right around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mothers womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand
when I awake, I am still with you.
23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts/
see if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.


Life has been life this past month and a half with more up in the air than I care for although I really am trying to embrace being comfortable, being uncomfortable, its taking time and practice and I'm not wearing it well right now in this season. When the days are long and my fuse is short and there are challenges around every corner.


My biggest challenge is knowing when and how to ask for help. I sulk for a while and before I know it I feel like I'm drowning.


Well I should have known last week God was up to something when one of the awesome leaders from our sunday school class asked me to pick a verse for our Tuesday night meeting...I originally told her no but there were bigger things in store and God knew my answer needed to be yes and I reluctantly agreed. I don't like speaking to groups, I prefer back stage help, serving in the background, I don't need much just appreciation and love and I'm solid. So when I got there last Tuesday I was armed with my favorite prayer in Ephesians 3:14-21 For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever Amen
there were just a handful of ladies there, it was such a sweet time of fellowship with them and it was exactly what I needed, not at all what I had feared. He knew what I needed. I left there with that reassurance tucked away.


Then yesterday in my bible study by beth moore she spoke about how God rearranges our surroundings so that we can see things differently, to help us readjust our vision. He does this for a season, its messy and crazy and feels like chaos. I had never thought about it like that, it made sense. an aha moment.


Well over the last few days I've started to feel that feeling I get every so often, a little depression, a little apathy, a little overwhelmed. When this happens I feel disconnected and I'm not really sure where to turn or what to do. My hubs asks and wants to help. So today I reached out to my friends. I have been praying for my eyes to be open so that when it hits it doesn't send me reeling for days. I love these ladies I'm so thankful for them. Within a few minutes one of them sent the Ecclesiastes verse...AHHHH are you serious???


Hello Angela....he knows you. he knows what you need...he knows where you are and he wants you to readjust.


I'm still here. I'm still praying and I'm still moving forward. because God is bigger than the places I dwell. He knows what I need to rise above.


The great thing...he loves each of us the same. He knows you just as well and he's meeting you right where you are. don't miss that, where you are, wherever that is, you are fully loved. Look around God is in the midst of the trial. He's bigger and there is no place that God does not have dominion. :)


Be encouraged. He's not going to always carry us out but he will always walk with us through it. He lived this life perfectly with all sorts of trials. temptations and the works. I believe he lived with feelings bigger than we can dream about feeling, so he knows lean into him and reach out to those who God has placed in your life to walk with.


You are loved, cherished and right now Jesus is fighting for you! Until we meet again.