Thursday, August 20, 2015

seasons and change

Today the high was in the 80's with a cool breeze out of the north, and off and on showers. some of my favorite weather. Tomorrow when its back in the upper 90's I will be longing for fall to come that much quicker. While I love playing in our pool with our boys and getting an amazing tan, fall and winter does something for this Texas girl who fell in LOVE with Colorado. I've always loved the cooler weather and that is never a guarantee here in Texas but days like these leave this girl feeling refreshed.

Summer months are wild and crazy around, here especially since the hubs works in construction, this summer marks other big changes. Today we go meet our little man's Kindergarten teacher. Hard to believe we are 4 days from being parents of a school aged child. He's going to rock it. I'm excited to see how he blossoms and grows, this next year.

In seasons of change, challenge, trials...I feel exposed, vulnerable, like the next person that bumps into me may just cause me to break into a thousand pieces or at least all the things I feel like I need to hold together will come crashing down all around me. (wow I give myself a lot of credit and stress) You see, along with summer, challenge, change, and trials comes opportunities to make awesome choices or not so great ones. Depending on the day really depends on my decisions, most things I figure I can carry with God, we got this. While this is obviously true...God has placed someone else in my life that's right there to help, to carry that load, and if you know my husband you know he carries a lot as well. However, we weren't meant to carry it alone, in our marriage, we are meant to carry it together, lay it at the throne of God and cover it in prayer. Pray circles around it, believe and repeat.

This fall holds a lot of unknowns for our family and I can feel myself carrying that unknown...but last night when we laid it all out there about that thing that (I) tend to carry by myself because I think I can fix it...and am scared of disappointing him...because this area is an area I've struggled most of my life but God has brought me so far. It really is miraculous. I'm such a solver ya'll. I'll wear myself out bearing that burden, halfway laying it down at Gods throne only to pick it back up.

My hubs is such a gracious and compassionate, loving man. Who loves me right where I'm at and without him and God I would have never gotten to where we are now. He read a book and went to a conference several years back and they talked about being velvet and steel. Last night despite my fears, he just loved...he accepted and he joined with me. You know the circumstances don't look much different today, but they "feel" different today. I'm grateful that he walks alongside me and that he helps me grow to become a better me and knows that even though it was a step back that means we are making progress forward.

God is so big and he's working in great and mighty ways. I feel like we are on the cusp of something really big. The struggle is real, but so is the peace that surpasses all understanding, with a Father who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask and imagine.

Wherever you are, whatever you face, that thing that your carrying, that thing your afraid to let go of, and that your scared to share with those that are closest to you. Don't believe the enemies lies, they wont love you any less, they aren't going to hate you and they are going to join alongside you so you can move forward together.

James 1:2-8 MSG

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, no deficient in any way.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and wont be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.


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